Ask me to define failure. I have seen it, I have felt it & I have paid for it. The worst part is I have seen my mom paying for it too. Ask me to define pain. I cannot define it. I am still going through it. But the best part of it is that pain has given me the courage to develop myself and be my own balm. I have always been a very confident person and a smart individual. My talents were appreciated everywhere. May be I lost myself in the midst of those appreciations and my confidence drowned me. I miss utilised my talent and neglected the importance of time and what was supposed to be done at that correct time. Realisation was not all in my dictionary, but I could see failure. I lied to myself that I will manage. I was still confident despite knowing the fact that I was failing and was reluctant to face it. I thought time is a part of life and life will go on.
I misvalued time, which I now believe is a grave mistake. “Arey ho jaega” was my attitude towards time. I was so blind to look back nor look ahead. I was ruining myself and it was going on & on. And finally I had to approach the Big Time. Running away was no longer an option for me. I had to stop and face. I was empty & blank. I missed the best chance that I got. A chance that millions of people wait for. My mom was the happiest. But the city lights captured me and I got hypnotized. I lost it. After failure… it was now time for Pain.
My story is not over yet…
Pain… a feeling with every person goes through. But some people take it towards negativity and pain gulps them. Some take it towards positivity and it helps to rise. All one needs is a mind-set to deal the pain. No counselling can help you fight the pain unless and until you are inwardly ready to face it. Time is never always the same. It’s going comparatively… good better best… bad, worse & worst. I faced the worst. I even wanted to run away because failure brought me a lot of humiliation. I had no place to hide. And home was the worst. Every single day was hard to spend. I lost all trust from my closed ones except for my mom.
Wait, let me tell you the best thing about myself. Every little bad thing that drowns people raised me in a positive way. My arrogance… that led me to take one more step to move back to the same place where I met failure despite knowing the fact there was not a single chance left for me. Chance to build up trust. A chance to start something new. I could hear just one word… impossible. Still I had the guts to think. To take a step forward. But this time with a new goal in hand. I learnt a new word after PAIN… it was QUIT. Many people quit courage… quit happiness … quit life when failure and pain captures them from all angle of life. But I taught myself my own lesson. Failure and pain are God’s way to test us. A test how we overcome these two deadly diseases. He wants show us the way. He wants us to make our way. I made my way. I did not give up on life. I gave up on all my habits that led to my failure before it was too late. I went back to the same place where I met these two. It was not easy. But as I said… earlier I thought… Time is a part of life. NO. Truth is Life is a part of time. Time decides everything. If we fail to think at the right time… we will be late to do the right for the entire life. Time can only give us a second chance. Not forever. I grabbed that second chance. Gave life a second chance but a final chance. I met many people who sympathised over me but very few who advised me to love life. They were the ones who still had expectations despite seeing my failures and mistakes. Hope was alive in them more than mine. They targeted on my inner strengths & inner talents which would help build me up. I had less time in hands but no options. I had to take what came to me. And this time it was not success I was dreaming for. It was a lot more. It was to prove myself… erase my past & most importantly it was for myself. I could have given up much earlier and sat back but I couldn’t dream of living my life gaining sympathies and Humiliations. I am still struggling but I am on time.